Woman’s Woe

I am a woman and so I am prone

to sagging walls, protruding flesh,

a wandering rectum, bulging sling.

To be a woman is a wonderful thing

when foetus is face-about-arse on your spine

and the bugger gets stuck and has to be sucked

through a now-enlarged entrance that has to be sewn

though they’ll cut it again so it can’t hold you in.

Being a woman means gravity drags

on your breasts and your pelvis till everything sags

and needs to be ‘hoiked up’ with plastic contraptions

which may cause infection, fall out or cause pain.

Being a woman means waiting for months

to be patched up, have bits taken out or put in.

A woman’s world is full of woe;

my life at the moment, just so you know.

Apologies if this description’s too graphic

but being a woman is my demographic.