Bad poetry 1: Family Notices
Dear Dad, we will miss you and your smelly feet.
Without those appendages, our home’s not complete.
Dear Mum, we are snivelling into our hankies;
We’re sorry we ain’t had no time to say thankee.
Dear Grandad, I loved you, though I’d never visit
But that isn’t much consolation now, is it?
Dear Gran, aren’t you proud now this poem’s in print?
Can I have all your money, cause I’m bleedin’ skint?
Bad poetry 2: It rhymes, but it doesn’t scan.
You are more lovely than roses in summer
But you don’t love me, and that’s a bit of a bummer.
First published in Reach