Bad Poetry

Bad poetry 1: Family Notices

Dear Dad, we will miss you and your smelly feet.

Without those appendages, our home’s not complete.

Dear Mum, we are snivelling into our hankies;

We’re sorry we ain’t had no time to say thankee.

Dear Grandad, I loved you, though I’d never visit

But that isn’t much consolation now, is it?

Dear Gran, aren’t you proud now this poem’s in print?

Can I have all your money, cause I’m bleedin’ skint?


Bad poetry 2: It rhymes, but it doesn’t scan.


You are more lovely than roses in summer

But you don’t love me, and that’s a bit of a bummer.

First published in Reach




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